On turning 52...

I thought I'd update my blog with a couple of things I've recently shared on other platforms. This is something I wrote on June 8th, the day following my birthday.

I can’t really put into words the experience leading up to this birthday, and celebrating an age where I literally have one remaining joint that works, and where... when I spotted a tampax wrapper in the ladies room I had a tender “remember when” moment... but I digress. Through my many life experiences, chapters, loves and lovers, heartbreaks and losses, bar fights (ok only one), music, and day jobs that give me an endless supply of material, like my boss coming into my office with a piece of cake singing his best Happy Birthday, I somehow arrived at a quiet evening in a beautiful cocktail lounge, with two women who are my family, and chandeliers that reflected through the windows to magically float out over the city… and I was here and that was enough. The countless well-wishes serve to remind me that I am more loved than I often believe. 

In the days leading up, and the days that have followed, I've struggled to align myself with the simple idea that "I am" and "I am here" even though I philosphically believe this to be true. I struggle with the way human beings tear each other down. I shake my head at my own behavior, and I still manage to be shocked by those that hurt me. Maybe that's not a bad thing. Maybe still being shocked means I still expect the best of people, and maybe that means I have maintained more hope than I realize. I long to be back on that magical equatorial archipelago where Mother Nature seems her most tangible, and her most at peace. But today, I'm still here. It's highly likely I will be tomorrow as well. In fact, if I trust my philosophical and spiritual beliefs, I guess I'll always "be here" wherever here may be. But that could be the gummy talking.

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